Life Recently

20th January

Days without MacLehose is a piece of crap

It could be a surprise or disaster

No matter good or bad

Things are all evolving in super speed

Days without MacLehose let me stop and think

With more and more deep thinking

I get lost

I couldn't sleep

I couldn't concentrate

I couldn't have the

 exam

coz' once a bug is acting inside my 16MB memory stick

I have to solve it

or I can't continue my life

Days without MacLehose gives my a lesson

To rediscover that I've never known myself well

Days without MacLehose changes things up side down

To lost my control of unconscious and conscious feels

I changed in a sudden

Days without MacLehose recall me back to nature

I miss that feel

I nearly could touch it but I didn't...

Days without MacLehose sucks

coz' I could release my pressure

like adding one more drop of oil in the problems in Christmas 

Fire goes on

Shows also go on

I must go back there

For some reason, I addicted to MacLehose

I left the nature for months and I have to gain back my feel on that

Something more

I realized something couple of days before

that I could feel happy right away

that I felt really comfortable with

that I felt free with

that I trusted

that I lost cabin control

But then

I started thinking again

Another bug is inside my 17MB memory stick

I lost

so once again

I couldn't sleep

I was spending my nights and exams on thinking what should I do

Spending my life thinking those components

Spending my life thinking my feels

At night

I lost control

I made up my mind suddenly

and I slept

What the...

I woke up at mid-night and I couldn't sleep again

and until now, I still can't concentrate

My life is learning these messed up things, wasting my power and time

I just can't control

coz' I still have hopes

No one knows the result after all

I have to try it

5th January

I didn't die

Congratulation

To be honest, nothing solved, nothing happened

I could feel the tiredness over the whole month

I want to sleep

Someone controlled my emotion all the time

I slept, I found dreams all about one thing

I gathered hints, I looked for reasons and meanings

I want to quit, I don't want to quit

I try to let go but I can't

Although my separated personalities got rid

I doesn't flush it, I controls it

It will be useful sometimes

After a year

I got nothing, I gained nothing

Is it only a waste of time to hope for?

Is it never to be completed?

Is it because the curse?

I could have given up already

But my dream had told me that I shouldn't

I have decided, I have to trust my dream, trust myself

I should go on... and I have to wait

Be patient and not being aggressive

coz' it might ruin everything

Exam is coming, this should stop for a while

Nothing solved, Nothing happened

Maybe I should wait, after the curse's deadline

I will be free again

But I gotta tell you

I can once again Feel

I gained one more personality

Had one more lesson

Less things to fear; Less things to hope

coz' fact is fact, it's no fear and no hope

if you don't want unnecessary depression...

22nd December

Just got over to my last hope

which took me half day to find

It's worth

but it doesn't solve right away

coz' this is too complicated

and only me could solve this disaster

I've been seeing many things

seems I've forgot tons of stuffs I did

I am regret

I have to face

There is someone who seems understanding me

Thanks him

I am having a tiny support

I have to fight with this half-life

I wanna die, fighting

No fear of anything

I wanna learn, let go

It took me months to recover last time

It took me more for this time

I've made up my mind a bit

I wish to make up my mind in whole

After some hours of resting

I should go fighting

Demand for a chance

Everything must have to be ready

Thanks for another person

I am starting to get it

If you are thinking what I am thinking

Time may help

21st December (morning)

I couldn't sleep... 

20th December

Exhausted after a rest

Powerless after a meal

I thought I might miss something

I am sure I did something wrong

I didn't know

I forgot

This two months is trying to kill me

I am dying

I am still lost

I have no energy

Still enjoying bad things after surrender

I couldn't forget

I couldn't fight

Should I avoid?

Should I leave?

Should I go back?

What else I could do?

In this second, after a whole week

Nothing solve

Nothing happen

I am waiting for nothing

Writing for nothing

In this second, I am still thinking

The imagine is in my heart

The voice is bordering

The words are annoying

After one hour and one hour Squash

I burnt up my energy

I burnt up my anger of anything

Those upsetting stuffs turn to sweat that flows off from my skin

Now, I feel powerless

I feel stress again

I feel a rebuilding anger

I feel exhausted

I feel mess up

17th December

I lost totally, I surrender

I have lost my entire life's theory, none of them works

I couldn't think, I couldn't predict

coz' all things go in a hurry and I couldn't catch

I am waiting, I have been upset

I've lost myself, I am sleeping, over and over

Time goes fast in the morning, and THAT holds time at night

I couldn't sleep well maybe, I always dream

I am exhausted, of this crazy stuff

I am insane, stepping away to this world

I found the exist of Him, coz' He led me to this

Things seem to get flatter, but my heart hurts me more

I can't figure it out why, it might just some kind of tricks from my mind

What is this?

I don't get this

If this is a dream, please wake me

I am waiting

For something, or nothing

I have no target, I have no hints

People, laugh at me as loud as you want

coz' I am tired and have no power for this war

I will enjoy this

What normal people will be upset about, cry about, suicide about

I have been to

I have chosen to live

I have chosen to be insane person

That's what I am

What I belong to

Until the day when the sun climbs up with its natural shine

When I have totally recovered and forget about this

I will bring sunshine to people

Bring those happiest memories

Just wait and pray

If I am lucky, or if He forgives me... ...

14th December

Down to be a human or even a devil, it nearly couldn't see a spot of light

Those reversed theories keep bordering one's mind

They damaged the original lifestyle, created another side of extreme

Negative powers are attractive and powerful, they are observable

Whether Positive or Negative wins, no one knows

The fact is that their wars cause great depressions inside the mind

What comes right today, what turns wrong tomorrow

Perspectives of everything change every seconds

It's a war inside the mind that never stop

It is starting to lost control

Two extremes start to separate a person into two

There is no rules, no responsibilities, no entertainment, no concentration, no life

Only meditation, deep thinking and endless spiritual wars

The cause of the war was the death of one person

The cause of the war was the hidden family, friends and personal problems

If only Negative Thoughts wasn't the way to solve those problems,

there will not have this bigger problem

How embarrassing

How to stop this

Who will win the battle

Who support which side

Who knows the result

Who can help

When does it stop

Which theory stands, which does not

What is the way now

What comes next

Shall I find someone?

Who knows me well?

Was I asleep?

Is this only a time track for me to watch this movie?

What I come to realize is that there is someone I couldn't ditch

I really really care about

It's affecting me

It's encouraging the wars

It's killing me

How to let go?

How to forget this?

This should be the greatest bet

If there is god exist, He should be angry with me about what I've done so long

So if this is a punishment, He has already done it successfully, please stop

If there is fairies exist, goblins must be around me. As I always do trust on you

What I would do next

No one knows why

I can't explain

It might be a failure or it might success

It is only important that things wouldn't come over again

Whatever happens to me,

He is not the Sunny you've known

He is only a crap

He is not he was

He is dangerous

He is sorry for those innocents

but He is gone

But please bless me for this, Please

The Peak (Night)

Last time I heard about the word "Peak" was years ago, but THIS time, was just yesterday.

Everyone who lives in Western Distract must know the way to the Peak, I did when I was in primary school, Timothy knew it too. But how about if we just change the condition a bit, day to night, what then?

Yesterday I went forward to City Hall, to see Mickey and the string orchestra that I miss very much. Somehow, I became a dog, whose leading the blind person... Mickey...

Evening was the time I thought about Timothy, I wanted to have dinner with him so I called him out. But he brought up a crazy suggestion and led us, breaking record.

"Have you ever hiked at night?"

"No"

"Then go now"

"OK"

As we wanted to break the world's record - The Stupidest In The World, we took minibus back to Western, and started our journey from the long stair's bottom. We had no light, no fire, it was too dark. We had to go, from the brightest point of the floor, walking upward to the darkest point above the stair, we had such a feel that we had to go, not back but forward. It was just like going to the entrance of a ghost house, you were afraid, but you wouldn't go back...

You couldn't see things that leave you 5 meters away, until we went back to the main road, there were lamps for our camera to work. 

Don't blame on me about the quality, just listen to two foolish people's conversation... 

NOTE: SORRY FOR THE VOLUME OF THE MOVIES IS TOO LOW, PLEASE MANUALLY ADJUST THE VOLUME OF YOUR COMPUTER.

introduction(1)

continue (2)

last words in the toilet (3)

finale (4)