Hannover, Germany

This is my second day living in Hannover. Just after I had a lot of strange dreams last night, I quickly made myself a breakfast, and decided to clean up this spiderweb blog. It hurts me to stop writing, but it hurts me even more to keep on writing this. Sometimes it just stabs me a thousand of times when I tried to read through my older posts again, while almost no one knows this blog exists at all. Then what's the point of continuous record of tragedies and short memories?

At some points of life, I am always reminded to come back to this. Like someone would slap you and grab you onto the chair, and force you to face your life again. I suppose I really don't need a reason for myself to coming back, right?

Today is the 9th of July, the 7th day of my Germany journey. First of all, congratulation to the Germany football team. I didn't watch the game, sorry, I was sleeping, dead like a corpse... Wait a minute, I think that explains my dreams... I woke up in the middle of the night, I believed its 4:xx and the sky was already lighten up. I got my neck pain as the pillow here is in a funny shape and thickness, its like putting my head on a volleyball, a birthday cake maybe... I think it's just me, so I decided to use a cushion instead.

..? Feeling alone in germany?
yes

I kind of miss the food and drinks in my home, which I can get them at ease. I am such a lazy person, why am I even care and move my fingers to type? It's the second day of raining, the raindrop here feels so tiny and gentle. It tickles everywhere with such a moaning sound, but condensed. The loudest noisy ever made here is just the rain falls on the sloped roof, which bothers me sometime. I can hear the water sliding down to the drainage like a river. Now the crows outside shouting with all their might, and the water hangs on every part of the building like crystal cave. Everywhere stops moving, as if the time pauses. No, I can hear the clock ticking somewhere inside this house.

Living in another complicated family tree, I feel like a bit awful to be with a mother with a daughter. I am sure this is pretty much of my imagination because I don't know any of the things happening to her family, nor I've never seen her daughter who's actually living with me this couple of days. All these years of torture and sour, I am still hateful of how my emotions and feelings could hurt me so much. Even though we all know that we decide our path of life and we have to continue our journey for its best, but still, I do regret a lot.

After the morning shower of the fresh water descending from the sky, I can feel the sunlight breaking through the cloud a thousand miles away. I can feel the live outside, but I am too afraid to get out, too afraid to look at myself.

Trapped at the room full of mirror, I am just lost in my own fear.