He was having such a long journey. He should had been taking the bus but he decided to walk, he passed through every stops, starting from the east side of the city to the west. It was longer than he expected, yet he enjoyed it. He looked into every detail in the street, where he left his footprints on the map he had imagined. From the tiny bubble lights for the home essentials, to the dimming yellow sparkle from the street lamps. From the oldest abandoned area with toxic waste and bad smelling clothes that once were filled with sweat from the workers, to the newest noble black Nissan Skyline parked near to the fire red Mercedes-Benz AMG with modified wheels and whole new exhausts. From the helpless elders walking and sitting slowly, to the ambitious cold-blooded young generations passing through like any king or queen. From impatient expressions with this woman, to the emptiness inside the man's eyes. From any beautiful designs you can easy see outside the wall of each building, to the dirty and hidden corners between buildings and streets.
He stood and thought for a while, and he tried to remember every scene he once loved, it is now a trash. So he went passed to look for another.
And now, he is still standing by his home. With thirty families under his feet, he can feel himself walking on the air every time he think of that.
The front door is quite dusty, although it is new. And by standing right there, he saw his own shadow printed clearly on the dusty door, that is exactly the same size and shape to himself. So he looked back, it was just the sunlight shining from somewhere. For the moment he turned back, the shape was already changed slightly.
Before that moment, everything wasn't in any shape yet.
It was the best days, when flowers and trees sang.
Sitting beside the sea and they wave at you.
You never thought about tomorrow.
By that, you could never imagine today.
Day by day, week by week
It just not going to stop...
Lox stepped inside his home. He wanted to sit and relax, maybe he wanted to take a shower and make himself good with a cold drink. All in his mind now is the greatest waterfall that run through him, every part of his body goes with the water onto the ground, every dust and trouble he once had is now washing away. With his eyes closing, he could see the world much clearer than anything. He could feel the whole world in that moment again, and then he will have the word "reborn" in his mind. It is the most beautiful word he could imagine, and the most suitable word he could think of.
... Even the greatest landscape is falling apart,
nothing beautiful can last forever.
You are standing at the edge of your own world,
you can see, but you can't step in.
A goldfish inside the aquarium stood by the ocean,
he could always picture his universe...
But Lox is still standing, looking around the interior design he once addicted into. Every piece of furniture are joining together in a perfect harmony, perfect combination, in perfect place. Anytime you be there, you will feel yourself living in the IKEA magazine, or maybe better. That kind of creativity and the smart use of spacing, it is just another collection of clever arts Lox has. People admire what he does to his home, they see him working so hard to earn every piece of essentials or decorations. It is a perfect home for anyone, you got everything you need, you don't even need to go out.
... My bloody-red sofa is guarding the expensive set of stereos and TV sets.
My old piano facing the window like a slave, it doesn't work anymore.
Funny images and arts never stop trying to make our lives colorful,
even though they are never important.
Photos showing happy memories,
tears hidden in the back.
Every piece of furniture is at the right place, like solving the puzzle.
It is what a home should be like, at least this is what you have heard.
I say, I am more pathetic than where I am living...
And he stops in front of the photo. It was his favorite picture. It captured the greatest moment in his life, with his best laugh, his comfort and all his hope. He made a special frame for this particular picture, with all his energy, knowledge and concentration. It shall define beauty and love.
Deep inside Lox's eyes is only this picture. It is still hanged at the most important place in this house, in perfect state. Yet he couldn't associate any words related to beauty or love, even not a single positive word. It only recalls the shadow he saws outside his home, it only last for one moment, and it blinds him. Actually, it is powerful enough to blind anyone in anytime.
... And I saw the light.
I wanted to look deeper inside, like how I once looked into the darkness.
Like the moth catches the fire, let your dream kills you.
It was too bright, and I started to got a bit dizzy and blinded, but I kept trying.
The light comes form the outside of the window, so I walked closer.
Suddenly I felt the warmth of the light, it has the smell of the summer and also the sea water.
then the thin air touched me gently as I opened the window and let the light shine all over me.
I closed my eyes, and I could see freedom, I could see release.
They were not appeared as any form, but I knew I could see them.
I was pursuing for my whole life, and now I am finally satisfied.
The goldfish swims towards the ocean, swims to the universe he longed for.
For that perfect moment, when you live inside your world, nothing really matter.
It just stays forever...
An old piano is waving at the opened window, no one's home.
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